Handyman
by MissKeith
Summary: Fix'n things is what he does best, even if it's a six foot something gal with an attitude.


Handyman

So sweet was the sound of her voice, nearly as gallantly beautiful as the definition of her fine, fine features. Felix sighed when she wasn't looking, as she leaned over the bar to harass Tapper about her drink. She was so gosh darn adorable when she was miffed. Tamora turned back to him, caught the smitten look on his face and smiled. Her hand went up, gently took the bill of his hat between her fingers and playfully pulled it down.

Eyes covered Felix flailed for a second, then adjusted his hat with a crooked smile slapped across his face. He had the 'honeyglows' pretty bad. Tamora enjoyed his pintsized antics more than she ever wanted to admit. But others knew, her friends looked at the two of them and saw how much she loved him.

"C'mere runt", she smirked coyly, eyes alight with mischief, hand easily grabbing the collar of his blue dress vest and lifting him, legs kicking and all off his barstool. Her lips pressed a fevered kiss against his, making sure he was well cooked before setting him back down.

Felix lightly smacked his lips, a heavy aftertaste of tainted root beer now swish swashing around in his mouth. Pulling his hat from his head he fiddled with the cap between his nervous hands before letting his head fall sideways onto the edge of the counter. He turned, folding his arms around his smile as if to keep it all to himself. A root beer slid into his shoulder. Looking up he saw Tamora with her mug in the air gesturing for a toast.

"You know I'm not much for drink'n ma'am", Felix responded with darting eyes.

"Oh I'm well aware", Tamora chuckled as she yanked him into a sitting position. "That's why…" she placed the drink in Felix's hand and pulled him close, her whisper made for only him to hear as she nuzzled his flushed ear. "…yours is sugar-free"

"Thoughtful", he chided with hazy eyes. "M-Ma'am!" he squeaked when she quickly nipped at his ear.

The sergeant smirked as she sat back, taking his hat with her to place crookedly atop her head. Felix pouted and got his feet on the cushion of his barstool but was still unable to reach. Tamora leaned back just enough so that his fingertips would brush against the tip of the bill but he would be unable to get a grip on it. Playing around was an easy feat for the hard knocks soldier with a few good drinks in her system. She took another quick swig from her mixture, a combination of root beer and whiskey…mostly whiskey.

"I want what she's having", Vanellope smirked as she sipped her crème soda. "It looks like old stick up her butt is really letting loose tonight eh _stinkbrain_?"

Vanellope sat perched atop her best friend's massive shoulder. When she spoke she poked him in his temple repeatedly to assure he'd hear her, as if anyone could miss her at times grating voice. Ralph smiled warmly despite her bratty attitude and reached a massive hand up to pat her on the head like a little chirping bird.

"Sure it looks like fun", he began in his oddly paced fashion of talking. "till you wind up with your underwear in the lost and found…then not so much, _dungbeetle waste_"

"Hm", Vanellope smiled as she leaned her arm on Ralph's head and rested on it. "They really look happy, don't they?" she paused, sat up and brought her glass to her lips, but just as quickly set it to rest in her lap. "Ralph?"

"Yeah?" he responded through a mouth full of bar peanuts.

"Do you think they'll have a baby?"

Peanuts spewed everywhere.

"Why would you ask that?" Ralph groaned, slapping his enormous hand to his face.

"Because they're married and they always want _alone_ time together", she mused, really concentrating on her statement. "When grownups have a lot of alone time…they usually end up with a baby. Is it a two player mini game or something?" she mused and then exclaimed "Remember when Miss Pac-Man and Mr. Pac-Man bumped? That's how they got their baby! Do you have to bump someone?"

"Well…um" Ralph stammered, thinking to himself _sort of_. "You see…er, um…one day me and you are going to have a serious talk about…this…um, grownup stuff"

"But not today?"

"No. Not today"

"Is it…" Vanellope's eyes darted off and followed something. "…there they go"

Ralph looked over his shoulder. Calhoun had Felix in her arms, held almost like a baby. She was smiling devilishly at the squirming, beat red handyman as she headed for the exit. The onlookers at the bar watched them go, muttering to themselves. Vanellope snapped her head to face Ralph with a huge grin, but he shook his head and plucked her from his shoulder.

"I'm not saying a word", he groaned. "Just going to drink my be-root beer"

"Riiiiiiight", Vanellope bounced her eyebrows up and down and went back to her drink, which she noted was sadly fun-juice free.

Calhoun knew her men were currently out and about. Who wanted to spend all their time in the dreary monochromatic hellzone known as Hero's Duty? A sharp clang rang through the barracks. Tamora had the object of her affections, held up by the collar of his shirt pinned between her and the steel wall. His gloved hands held fast to her forearms as he tried to catch little breathes through her aggressive display of affection. Felix sucked in air when she pulled back, tilting her head to the side mischievously. Leaning in Tamora kissed along his jaw, sending tremors along Fix-it's spine.

"Oh, Ma'am", he sighed elatedly.

"Save the pillow-talk pint size", Tamora breathed into his ear. "I've got something inside I need you to _fix_"

She waited eagerly, teeth pressed against her bottom lip. It took him a moment to catch the queue before he stuttered '_I-I can fix it_'. The look she gave him was indescribably heated.

Felix swallowed a hard knot in his throat, the biggest most nervous smile she'd ever see someone wear across his rounded face. Despite her programming it only made her kick the door down and toss him inside. Felix scrambled to his feet with a sun burnt blush covering his face as he managed to kick off his boots in time to be swooped up in the armorless arms of his bride.

Her bed was firm, but she managed to press him into it. Tamora held the sides of his face and he held the width of her wrists as they let loose their inhibitions. He still blushed and fumbled through her advances but she preferred it that way. It made her feel beautiful, he made her feel special.

That broken feeling was gone, replaced by a warm glow that filled her patched heart.


End file.
